my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
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