We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
you never un-have a 4some
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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