I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
