I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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