remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
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Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
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It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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