I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
