Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck appropriateness.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize