one might say we're banned from that church
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
