guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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