WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
