I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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