I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet