Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I will pee on everything he values.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .