he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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