oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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