he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
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she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We are all done wearing pants today
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