remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize