We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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