He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
