I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Fuck appropriateness.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
