it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
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I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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