To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
