if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
