It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
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I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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