if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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