About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
