I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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