OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There r osticjed everywhere
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
