I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
