I want to stick my p in your. b.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Is it because I queefed?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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