And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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