How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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