And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
did i walk over a car last night?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
