Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
