CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i think my cat just said my name.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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