you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize