and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
