I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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