She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He passed out mid-signature
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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