so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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