Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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