2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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