Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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