we have officially lost it.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize