Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
