Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
