i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
