I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
