if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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