Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize