oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
All the doctor said was why
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize