and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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