I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
