If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
