i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
