i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
