Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
