I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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