On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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