Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize