as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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