she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
