I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
